I would like to think in that photo that I am captivating my husband. In fact, I am captiviating him at Ponte Vecchio in Venice, Italy. That's a great place to do some captivating!
So this week is about the Captivating Woman. She is a major biblical beauty as she is the woman that meets the husband's needs for physical touch (both sexual and non-sexual). And any husband will tell you that he sure can't get enough of the captivating woman!! (My husband just nodded to me as I read him that last sentence!)
Oh this is gonna be one interesting blogposts because...yes...I will be talking about sex. (insert gasping emoticon!) It seems that talking about sex is sort of taboo, and yes, I am a little nervous to blog about it. But there is alot to be learned about the spiritual aspect of sex!
The captivating woman is sensual, sexual and even seductive!
Let your wife be a fountain of blessing for you,
Rejoice in the wife of your youth.
She is a loving doe, a graceful deer.
Let her breasts satisfy you always.
May you always be captivated by her love.
A little bit of a steamy passage, yes? Laurie shares the translation in Hebrew and how much steamier that makes it! The word "loving" in vs 19 translates to very desirable and passionate lover. And the word love refers to a powerful and intimate love between a husband and wife. Another important phrase, graceful deer, "reveals that the captivating woman accepts her husband and gives him preference above every other earthly relationship." We are to accept our husbands, and stop focusing on the things we wish we could change about them. The final word, captivating, means to "intoxicate with love."
We also learn in book of Solomon that the captivating woman is responsive (Song of S 4:16), she is adventurous (Song of S 7:11-13), she is uninhibited (Song of S 2:6, 4:16, 7:1-3), expressive (Song of S 1:16, 2:3) and she is sensuous (Song of S 5: 10-16).
So it was kind of funny, this past week. It seemed like God was saying "Sex! Sex! Sex!" I mean it was everywhere!!! First, it showed up in the Beauty by the Book bible study. Then, Dr. Hubby and I started reading the 5 Love Language book and signed up online for the Love Language Challenge. His love language is touch, so go figure, my first challenge had to do with sex! Thirdly, the P31 Challenge blogpost that I last read was of course about sex! And then Sunday school was about sex!!! The Lord was definately teaching me something wonderful about this area of my marriage, but I will leave that between me, Dr. Hubby and the Lord ;)
My husband and I also started another wonderful book, that is suggested by the Beauty by the Book study, called The Act of Marriage: The beauty of Sexual Love. It is an awesome biblical based book about sex between husband and wife. After we read a chapter, we discuss it. And let me tell you, it is something intimate to talk about this kind of stuff with your husband. It really is!
This book is wonderful because it looks at what sex means to a man.
Sex to a Man
Sex satisfies his sex drive.
It fulfills his manhood.
It enhances a man's love for his wife.
It reduces friction in the home.
It fulfills life's most fulfilling experience.
Sex to a Woman
Sex fulfills her womanhood.
It reassures her that he loves her.
It satisfies her sex drive.
It relaxes her nervous system.
It fulfills the ultimate experience of oneness.
These points are extremely elaborated upon in the book. I strongly suggest this book to any married couple! It is a fantastic book!
In the bible study video, Laurie teaches us the ABC's of being the Captivating Woman. So let's take a look!
When you read Song of Songs 1, you see so much anticipation in both of the lovers. They long so greatly to be together They just can't wait to be together! We need to put ourselves in that mindframe: always anticipating that beautiful time together.
Part of the homework assignment was to read Song of S chapter 1 and 2 and Song of S 4:1-5:1, and while reading it, put a mark noting what sense the lovers used to express thier love: SI (sight), T (touch), H (hearing), S (smell) and TA (taste). Go ahead and do it, I dare ya! Beautification is using those 5 senses to experience sensual love.
SIGHT- Dressing nice (not in your old most comfy sweats-so GUILTY here!) so that when he arrives home, he sees the effort you put into looking nice for him. Or wearing something sexy for the bedroom. As Laurie stated, there may be a financial budget for everything...except lingerie. ;)
TOUCH- This doesn't have to be sexual, as I am learning how to speak Dr. Hubby's love language. He feels loved and adored when I just randomly give him a little back scratch, a hand on the thigh or holding hands, a sweet kiss, cuddling up close on the couch...all these things make a man feel loved and respected. But that touch that happens in the bedroom means so much to a man. One extremely important thing I have learned from The Act of Marriage is that if a woman fails to meet her husbands sexual needs, she fails to admire and respect him (in his eyes). It is THAT important to a man, and its not his fault. That is the way God designed a man. Just like He designed sex to fulfill a woman emotionally.
HEARING- Words of Affirmation. Loving words. Kind words. Romantic words. A husband likes to hear that he is doing a good job!
SMELL: Seems kind of odd to captivate with smell. But think about your husband's favorite frangrance...wear it often! Cook something that makes the house smell wonderful! In the bedroom, set up some scented candles. Wouldn't that be romantic!?
TASTE: Umm good hygiene is a pretty good thing to start off with. No one wants to kiss a mouthful of grossness ;) And I'll let you use your imagination for the rest of this sense.
How do you communicate with your husband? Is it respectfully? Respect is conveyed in your words and your tone. How are you communicating ABOUT your hubby to your friends and family? Public praise is very uplifting and very captivating! A man loves to know that his wife believes in him!
Celebrate your togetherness! Have date night once a week! Get away together! This is something that we always try to do- we schedule time together. This may mean going out to dinner, or cuddling up on the couch after the kids are in bed or playing a board game together. Something that is intentional time of togetherness. It is so important to make time for each other.
This is obvious the most captivating of them all! ;)
But consummation is a RESULT of anticipating, beautifying, communicating and celebrating.
Being the captivating woman is all about making your man fall for you. In other words, intoxicate him with your love.
Captivating your husband will build his confidence in other areas of his life. It reassures the husband of his wife's love for him. We do that by making him feel admired and respected. We can make him feel respected through our words, our actions, our tone of voice, and yes, through sex.
God created sex to be a blessing!
So for those of you that are not married, put these thoughts in the back of your mind for when you do one day find that perfect someone. And for those of you that are married, go captivate your husband..
And please, don't tell us about it in the comments ;)
**nervously hitting publish!**