A Distorted Perception

Negative body image is a distorted perception.  Well, let me tell you, everything about my body image in 2011 was distorted.

 I was due Jan 1, 2011 with my first baby.  I was convinced I would deliver my baby naturally, hold him in my arms, nurse him immediately after delivery, rejoice in the fact that I delivered my baby, and fall in love with that little life.  Only one of those things happened.  I immediately fell in love with my son, Elijah. 

Seriously, if you are a mom, then you can’t help but believe in love at first sight. 

But something happened with my delivery.  Before E was even conceived, I knew in my heart that I did not want a ceserean delivery.  I wanted to accomplish something only a woman’s body can do, birth a baby, as naturally as possible.  But I became pre-eclamptic.  I gained 20 lbs of water weight in 2 weeks on top of the healthy 30 lbs I had gained throughout the pregnancy.  As a result, I was induced.  I was hooked up to monitors and not allowed to get out of bed.  I was scared.  And desperate to do anything that would allow me to avoid a C-section.  After 24 hours of labor, lots of blood pressure medications, endless bags of Pitocin and 3 failed epidurals, it was deemed medically necessary to have a C-section.  

I broke down.  I cried my heart out to my husband and my parents.  But my pleas were met from the medical staff with “we really don’t have any other choice.  You are at too high of a risk.”  

Want to know the rest of the story?  I am guest posting for Lisa at Fat Chick Fed Up and you can read the rest of the story here.  Be sure to check out her facebook page, and subscribe to her blog! She inspires me daily and I know you will be blessed by her writing!